Pregnancy loss can greatly affect a couple's relationship. It can either tear them apart, or bring them closer together. A new study shows the outcome all depends on how they handle it. "This is an outcome of pregnancy loss that has not yet been named, but it can have a serious effect on a couple's relationship," says researcher Kristin M. Swanson, RN, PhD, professor of family and child nursing at the University of Washington School of Nursing in Seattle.
Her study appears in this month's Psychosomatic Medicine.
Since 1982, Swanson has been studying this issue -- how women and men can get through miscarriage.
Research of first-time fathers shows the baby does not become real -- or at least a man does not consider himself a father -- until the first time he holds the baby in his arms, Swanson tells WebMD.
Thus, when there is pregnancy loss, he and she will have very different experiences, she explains. "His physical reminder of the pregnancy is seeing her. But she has experienced the baby biologically everyday. That baby has been inside her. Therefore, their reactions are different when the fetus is lost."
Men, Women, and Pregnancy Loss
Swanson bases her current insights on surveys completed by 185 women after their pregnancy loss -- one week, six weeks, one month, and one year later.
Women answered two basic, open-ended questions:
How has your miscarriage affected your relationship with your partner?
How has your miscarriage affected your sexual relationship?
One year after the loss, 28% were pregnant, 29% were trying to get pregnant, and 34% were avoiding pregnancy.
How women perceived changes in their relationships varied greatly, Swanson reports. One year after pregnancy loss:
23% said their interpersonal relationship with their husband was closer, but only 6% said their sexual relationship was closer.
44% felt the interpersonal relationship had returned to premiscarriage status; sexually, 55% thought their sexual bond had also returned.
32% felt more distant from their husbands interpersonally; 39% felt more distant sexually.
Those who felt closer or "back to normal" were more likely to be pregnant again. They had more emotional strength; they also said their partners were able to share feelings about the loss.
When relationships had grown more distant, partners had done less to show they cared. Women in distant relationships reported more negative feelings --depression, anger, confusion, and tension.
"Women who were sexually more distant avoided intercourse, experienced less desire, and saw sex as a functional necessity, fearful reminder of loss, and source of tension," writes Swanson.
Women in distant relationships may have felt abandoned, she says. When men shared their feelings, women felt it helped them pull through a difficult time. Words of Wisdom
In counseling couples, Swanson finds that "naming what they have lost" helps them get to the heart of issues surrounding pregnancy loss.
Women will say, "I lost my baby."
But for men, the answer varies: For some, it's 'I lost a baby;' for others, it's 'a future baby.' "Or, if you give them more time, they will say, 'I lost her, she's just not herself, I want her to get back to how she was,'" Swanson tells WebMD.
The bottom-line message: If men don't respond, the relationship will be at risk. "Show her you care, be extra attentive," says Swanson. "You can bring your relationship closer if you can keep communication open."
Lunes, Setyembre 12, 2011
What are the impacts of a miscarriage?
Physical impacts. For the mother, there are a number of painful and unpleasant impacts of a miscarriage. There will usually be significant vaginal bleeding and the passing of large clots. This in and of itself is a little unnerving for the mom and her partner. After all, how much blood is too much or how many clots are too many? How can you tell what is to be expected and what is not? In addition, mom's body often reacts like it does when she gives birth, so, for example, her breasts may enlarge and be tender. Her hormones will likely cause unexpected emotional and physical reactions, which only complicate the feelings of loss.
Emotional impacts. For both mom and dad, there are significant emotional issues. Clearly, the feeling of loss is real for both expectant parents. Having your dreams of having a baby shattered can be a huge blow. You may both feel fearful about becoming pregnant again, not wanting to risk the physical and emotional drain of a miscarriage. The feeling of emptiness a mom experiences is both physical and emotional. There may be feelings of guilt or of failure. And there may be a sense of overall depression or discouragement.
How is father affected?
I wrote earlier about shattered dreams. I know many fathers who experienced miscarriage who came to realize that there would not be a little girl to watch grow up or a little boy to play ball or go fishing with. Often a dad's dreams of children are just as real and meaningful as the mom's.
The typical male attitude in the face of crisis is the fix things (that is one of my wife's biggest complaints about me). But a miscarriage cannot be fixed. There is nothing but time that will heal the scar of the loss of an embryonic life. In that light, a father will feel powerless and hopeless to address his own feelings and the sadness experienced by his partner.
How should I deal with my grief, and that of my partner?
Know what to say and what not to say. Many moms who have miscarried have suggested that their husbands not try to console them with a message that "you can still have other kids." For mom, this baby was unique and special. Having more kids in any number will not eliminate the feeling of loss. Talking about other pregnancies may be our male way of trying to fix it. What mom needs is a listening ear, sympathy and a reassurance of your love for her. This kind of attitude will help her deal more effectively with her loss.
Talk or write it down. Men typically don't call other men on the phone to talk about their feelings, even in the case of a miscarriage. It is just not our way of grieving. But some dads have experienced some peace and healing by writing down some of those feelings and "giving them life" on paper. That can be very therapeutic for a grieving father.
Support your partner. Your partner will often feel the loss of a child more keenly that you will. So take the time to sit with her, hold her, listen to her express herself. Just being there and supporting her through her grief will really help her process the experience.
Get busy. Men will often turn to a project to help assuage the feelings of grief and loss. It is not a bad way to deal with everything that is going on around you. Being busy (but not too busy to be supportive to your partner) will help with the passing of time and will focus you in a positive direction.
Miscarriage is a huge blow to an expectant couple. By staying focused on supporting each other and by realizing that time will help the healing process, you can find peace even as you grieve for the loss of that one special life.
Emotional impacts. For both mom and dad, there are significant emotional issues. Clearly, the feeling of loss is real for both expectant parents. Having your dreams of having a baby shattered can be a huge blow. You may both feel fearful about becoming pregnant again, not wanting to risk the physical and emotional drain of a miscarriage. The feeling of emptiness a mom experiences is both physical and emotional. There may be feelings of guilt or of failure. And there may be a sense of overall depression or discouragement.
How is father affected?
I wrote earlier about shattered dreams. I know many fathers who experienced miscarriage who came to realize that there would not be a little girl to watch grow up or a little boy to play ball or go fishing with. Often a dad's dreams of children are just as real and meaningful as the mom's.
The typical male attitude in the face of crisis is the fix things (that is one of my wife's biggest complaints about me). But a miscarriage cannot be fixed. There is nothing but time that will heal the scar of the loss of an embryonic life. In that light, a father will feel powerless and hopeless to address his own feelings and the sadness experienced by his partner.
How should I deal with my grief, and that of my partner?
Know what to say and what not to say. Many moms who have miscarried have suggested that their husbands not try to console them with a message that "you can still have other kids." For mom, this baby was unique and special. Having more kids in any number will not eliminate the feeling of loss. Talking about other pregnancies may be our male way of trying to fix it. What mom needs is a listening ear, sympathy and a reassurance of your love for her. This kind of attitude will help her deal more effectively with her loss.
Talk or write it down. Men typically don't call other men on the phone to talk about their feelings, even in the case of a miscarriage. It is just not our way of grieving. But some dads have experienced some peace and healing by writing down some of those feelings and "giving them life" on paper. That can be very therapeutic for a grieving father.
Support your partner. Your partner will often feel the loss of a child more keenly that you will. So take the time to sit with her, hold her, listen to her express herself. Just being there and supporting her through her grief will really help her process the experience.
Get busy. Men will often turn to a project to help assuage the feelings of grief and loss. It is not a bad way to deal with everything that is going on around you. Being busy (but not too busy to be supportive to your partner) will help with the passing of time and will focus you in a positive direction.
Miscarriage is a huge blow to an expectant couple. By staying focused on supporting each other and by realizing that time will help the healing process, you can find peace even as you grieve for the loss of that one special life.
link between pregnancy and hair loss
Approximately 90% of your hair is growing at any one time, while the other 10% enter a resting phase. Every two to three months the resting hair falls out and allows new hair to grow in its place. Telogen effluvium is the excessive shedding of hair that occurs one to five months following pregnancy. This is not uncommon, affecting somewhere between 40 to 50% of women; but like most changes during pregnancy, it is temporary.
Is there abnormal hair loss during pregnancy?
Hair loss that is connected to pregnancy usually occurs after delivery. During pregnancy, an increased number of hairs go into the resting phase, which is part of the normal hair loss cycle. This condition is not serious enough to cause bald spots or permanent hair loss, and should begin to diminish within 3-4 months after delivery. If you feel that you are experiencing unusual hair loss while you are pregnant, this may be due to a vitamin or mineral deficiency.
Why do people talk about hair loss and pregnancy?
The most common period of hair loss occurs approximately three months after delivery. The rise in hormones during pregnancy keeps you from losing your hair. After delivery, the hormones return to normal levels, which allows the hair to fall out and return to the normal cycle. The normal hair loss that was delayed during pregnancy may fall out all at once.
Up to 60% of your hair that is in the growth state may enter into the telogen resting state. The hair loss usually peaks 3-4 months after delivery as your hair follicles rejuvenate themselves. As noted before, this hair loss is temporary and hair loss returns to normal within six to twelve months.
Can hair loss be related to other reproductive health issues?
Hair loss can be triggered by anything that involves a change in the estrogen hormone balance in your system. Hair loss may result from any one or more of the following:
Discontinuation of birth control pills or any other hormonal type of birth control method
Miscarriage or stillbirth
Abortion
A hormonal imbalance
The Positive Side of Pregnancy and Your Hair:
During pregnancy there is an increase in the level of estrogen hormones. Estrogen causes hair to remain in the growing phase and stimulates the growth of your hair. While you are pregnant, you should expect a full luxurious head of hair.
Recommendations for Your Hair During Pregnancy and After Delivery:
There are a number of things that you might do to have healthier hair and/or reduce hair loss during pregnancy and after delivery:
Consult with your health care provider to ensure a proper balance of hormones
Avoid pigtails, cornrows, hair weaves, braids and tight hair rollers which can pull and stress your hair
Eat a diet high in fruits and vegetables, which contain flavonoids and antioxidants that may provide protection for the hair follicles and encourage hair growth
Use shampoos and conditioners that contain biotin and silica
Hair is fragile when it is wet, so be gentle; avoid fine tooth combs
If you need to use blow dryers and other heated hair instruments, try to use the cool setting
Supplement your diet with the following nutrients:
Vitamin B complex (Catergory A)
Biotin (Possibly safe; orally and appropriately)
Vitamin C (Catergory A)
Vitamin E ( Likely safe if amount does not exceed the RDA; possibly safe if it does)
Zinc (Likely safe when used orally and appropriately; likely unsafe when used orally in high doses)
Is there abnormal hair loss during pregnancy?
Hair loss that is connected to pregnancy usually occurs after delivery. During pregnancy, an increased number of hairs go into the resting phase, which is part of the normal hair loss cycle. This condition is not serious enough to cause bald spots or permanent hair loss, and should begin to diminish within 3-4 months after delivery. If you feel that you are experiencing unusual hair loss while you are pregnant, this may be due to a vitamin or mineral deficiency.
Why do people talk about hair loss and pregnancy?
The most common period of hair loss occurs approximately three months after delivery. The rise in hormones during pregnancy keeps you from losing your hair. After delivery, the hormones return to normal levels, which allows the hair to fall out and return to the normal cycle. The normal hair loss that was delayed during pregnancy may fall out all at once.
Up to 60% of your hair that is in the growth state may enter into the telogen resting state. The hair loss usually peaks 3-4 months after delivery as your hair follicles rejuvenate themselves. As noted before, this hair loss is temporary and hair loss returns to normal within six to twelve months.
Can hair loss be related to other reproductive health issues?
Hair loss can be triggered by anything that involves a change in the estrogen hormone balance in your system. Hair loss may result from any one or more of the following:
Discontinuation of birth control pills or any other hormonal type of birth control method
Miscarriage or stillbirth
Abortion
A hormonal imbalance
The Positive Side of Pregnancy and Your Hair:
During pregnancy there is an increase in the level of estrogen hormones. Estrogen causes hair to remain in the growing phase and stimulates the growth of your hair. While you are pregnant, you should expect a full luxurious head of hair.
Recommendations for Your Hair During Pregnancy and After Delivery:
There are a number of things that you might do to have healthier hair and/or reduce hair loss during pregnancy and after delivery:
Consult with your health care provider to ensure a proper balance of hormones
Avoid pigtails, cornrows, hair weaves, braids and tight hair rollers which can pull and stress your hair
Eat a diet high in fruits and vegetables, which contain flavonoids and antioxidants that may provide protection for the hair follicles and encourage hair growth
Use shampoos and conditioners that contain biotin and silica
Hair is fragile when it is wet, so be gentle; avoid fine tooth combs
If you need to use blow dryers and other heated hair instruments, try to use the cool setting
Supplement your diet with the following nutrients:
Vitamin B complex (Catergory A)
Biotin (Possibly safe; orally and appropriately)
Vitamin C (Catergory A)
Vitamin E ( Likely safe if amount does not exceed the RDA; possibly safe if it does)
Zinc (Likely safe when used orally and appropriately; likely unsafe when used orally in high doses)
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